February 7, 2009

Tips For Understanding The New Obamanation

Many of us are in a quandry about how to understand the new regime in the White House. It's EASY when you utilize the 20 easy rules below.
1. What’s ours is ours and what is yours is ours.
2. Never ask. Just use government to take it.
3. Never step on a rake less than three times. (Like trying to enter the WH through a locked window)
4. Never end a government program no matter how many times it fails. Instead, throw more money at it.
5. Never be a “non-guilty” liberal. Lip biting and teary eyes work great.
6. Raising the dead on election day is akin to Jesus raising Lazarus only better. "WORK IT HOMEY!"
7. If an opponent says, "I am not a racist," he or she is lying like a rug. Play your race card.
8. Individual Freedom and Entrepreneurship is ALWAYS beaten by handouts and welfare checks.
9. When in danger, when in doubt, Blame Bush!
10. Moral relativism has no limits. (See Al Gore about this if in doubt.)
11. When in need of votes, dial 800-ACORNUP.
12. Never guarantee actual progress. Use words like hope, maybe, could, possibly, it'll take years...
13. Capitalism is immoral; forcibly seizing money by the government is the highest form of liberalism.
14. Never REALLY fight poverty, it yields too many votes for Democrats.
15. Blame Republicans as often as possible.
16. Bipartisanship means no GOP opposition to our waste, fraud, and abuse of the taxpayer’s money.17. The rich are ALWAYS undertaxed, as long as they are Republicans.18. Gaming the system is NEVER WRONG, it just being creative. 19. Vote as many times as you can. If caught, say it's a mistake. This ALSO works for tax cheats and bribe takers (Rangel, Gheitner, Jefferson, Daschle, etc.)20. Scam as often as possible but if caught, see rule #19. Also, pass legislation so OTHERS can't do it and brag about the new law.This should assist ALL Americans in not only understanding Dopey McChange's Admin and Presidentcy but also, liberalism in general.

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