June 26, 2009

Obama Defeats Fly

While protestors against the totalitarian regime in Iran are getting shot and beaten in the streets of Tehran, Mr. Hope and Change, Barack Hussein Obama, continues to vote present with his “nuanced” (read panty-waist) response. Imagine the conversation going on in Jeremiah Wright’s former parishioner’s head: “on the one hand, it’s a brutal dictatorship that promotes terrorism all over the world. On the other hand, America has no right to interfere, given our racist, imperialistic history, and our interference in Iran’s domestic leadership in 1953.” Once again, B. Hussein, votes present, and his apparatchiks in the politburo media justify it with reference to the afore-mentioned events in 1953, leaving most of his supporters extremely confused. “How could America get involved in Iran in 1953 when that’s when the American Civil War was going on?” they ask as they scratch their empty heads.He Who Walks on Water saved his ire for a a more worthy adversary, to the collective swoons, oohs and aahs of the propagandists in our version of Pravda over his “amazing athleticism.” We haven’t seen reporting like this since Kim Jong Il’s first golf game. Take that, you vicious, dangerous fly! I’m gonna get you, Sucka! No doubt the poor hapless insect was attracted by the reeking stench coming from the lies that issue with such ease and regularity from Barry’s mendacious mouth.Meanwhile here at home, the Lame Stream Media continues their approach to “objective reporting” about Barack and Michelle Obama, which means pretending that normal Americans consider them objects of worship and endless fascination rather than a couple of narcissistic beneficiaries of affirmative action who alternately bore and enrage us with their ostentatious displays of taxpayer-funded amusements. In the latest foray into “hard news,” as in fluffy feature stories promoting their already overpackaged images, they want us to believe that we are looking to them to help us get our fat, flabby bodies in shape. In Michelle’s case--how can I say this delicately?--no matter how many stories they write about her “buff arms,” I can’t help but notice that there’s a reason she is rarely photographed from the waist down, particularly from behind, so I’m not looking for her “perfect body” diet any time soon. As for Barry, I assumed that all supernatural beings were possessed of perfect physical bodies. Or it could be the cigarettes.

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